It’s Susu Very Sweet

Junglecat Gets In Her Licks

What’s Cooking In Cotter’s Kitchen

Mrs. Mouse, Penney Lane Go For 2nd Title

Susu Willis (Walk like an egyptian) is once again atop the pyramid after the round of 16. She regained the lead after South Carolina scored another upset victory, handing Susu seven huge points. Susu was one of just two players to pick South Carolina into the Elite 8.

She has some more work to do, however, and won’t be able to rely on South Carolina anymore. Her remaining two teams are Kentucky and Gonzaga. She’ll need Kentucky to win one more and the Zags to win three more for her to stay alive.

Junglecat (Doni Jackson), presently in third place, was the other player to pick South Carolina into the Elite 8.

Now in her 10th year of competition, Doni has been at or near the top of the standings on several prior occasions—but almost never at the end of the tournament. Something has always happened to kick over her litter box.

A Wichita native, that “something” has usually been another team beating either Kansas or Wichita State, two teams she always has making a deep run.

Doni hasn’t changed tactics in 2017. Her Final Four includes Kansas and Wichita State. Forced to pick between the two, she chose Kansas to win it all. This could be the year Doni rides the Jayhawks all the way to the title.

Don’t look now, but Cotter is in fourth place. He’s been described in these pages as an albino gopher; as a vampirish, rodent-like sub-hominid; and, of course, as a champion for the ages.

Cotter—who after years of at best questionable sobriety has a general state of appearance that makes Steve Bannon look like Ryan Gosling—sent a picture of himself in his 2013 championship t-shirt to Bucephalus before the tournament started. In the picture, he is making what is often described in genteel media as an “obscene gesture.”

Somehow, His Lordship The Cotter (he requested this title after his 2013 victory) can still make good on his taunt even though he has only two teams remaining and picked neither to win it all. In fact, the team he picked to win lost in the second round. Put another way, Cotter put a dog turd in the oven but could still pull out a gold brick when the timer goes off.

If this were to happen, “Betty Cotter” would be the first-ever repeat champion—a result that would be sure to add a little color to his pale white, pancake-batter-dripping-off-a-mannequin visage.

Penney Lane and Mrs. Mouse are also vying to be repeat champions. Penney Lane won in 2006, and Mrs. Mouse is the defending champion.

Penney Lane is one of 13 players with Oregon in the Final Four and one of just six with the Ducks in the final game.

Now in her 13th season, Penney Lane two top-3 finishes in her career. Only four other players, Blizzard T. Husky, Stump, Hoops McCann, and Mama can claim that distinction.

Mrs. Mouse also has Oregon in the Final Four, but she needs the Ducks’ run to stop there. Last year, Mrs. Mouse rode Villanova all the way to the title. This year, she wisely ditched the Wildcats and picked Gonzaga over Kentucky in the final.